I read today that they are coming out with a new Hell Boy. Will and I tried to watch the first one about 15 times before we got throught it without falling asleep. For a while I had the first 15 minutes memorized. I really enjoyed the movie once I finally saw the whole thing. That red couch just sucked me in and put me right to sleep.
It is going to be a year next month. I can't believe it. So much has happened in the last year, and yet nothing has really happened. I'm exactly where I started, only now I have a whole lot of scars and lessons learned. It is a strange thing to loose someone that I was so close to. It is an awful thing.
I try not to think about it too much any more. I am working hard on being present. But I tell you what, I still miss him hard sometimes. I still get that revealing thought, where I forgot what happened and just remembered.
My life is finally going pretty well. I am in a better place, I am better with my family, and Adam and I seem to be doing alright. But, man...sometimes I just miss him so bad. It's been a while since I cried like this for him. That is good, time between saddness in a good sign for my grief process I think. And I think it must be ok for me to have a day like today when I just am sad.
Tomorrow will be better, I will be at peace, I will be present, I will make my memories, and I will do what I want.
I miss Adam and I don't want Will to be gone anymore.
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